


I lost someone special too...

by hedarakoon



Category: The 100 (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 20:07:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8767363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedarakoon/pseuds/hedarakoon
Summary: Lexa didn’t cry. She didn’t show emotion. She was Commander and emotions were weakness. The Commander could have no weakness. But waking up that morning, the sun streaming through the doors on the open balcony, she cried. She sobbed and begged whatever Gods existed that this was just a dream.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was honestly in preparation for another one-shot I'm working on that my Clarke (I roleplay as Lexa) wants me to write that I just have not been able to. 
> 
> Leave any constructive feedback you want. It only encourages me to write more.
> 
> I have no beta so any mistakes are mine.

Lexa lay curled on her side under the mountain of furs upon her bed. She hadn’t seen Costia in weeks… 159 days to be exact. She knew the Ice Nation had her, but she didn’t have the slightest idea how to get her back without causing an all-out war. She was Commander. Why would she be going after one girl? Of course some of her closest knew the relationship between the healer and the Commander, they saw the love that glistened in the girls’ eyes.

Her back lay exposed to the sun streaming in from her balcony. It was the middle of winter, but she still slept with the doors to the balcony open. She always felt so enclosed in her tower, having the doors opened provided some sort of comfort to the girl who grew up in the trees. 

A gust of wind blew in from the balcony, causing Lexa to shiver and close her eyes for a moment as her hair blew over her face. When she opened her face it was not her own brown hair that caused the whimper to escape her lips, but the white blonde hair that was tangled with her own. She sat up with a jolt, the furs and blankets pooling at her waist as she turned to stare at the head lying beside her. 

She didn’t believe what she saw at first. Surely she was seeing things. Surely this couldn’t be real right?

She cried out in anguish as the reality finally settled in. Her fingers trembled as they reached out to touch the blonde hair, now matted and dirty, remembering the many time she had braided it as a small girl. Tears flowed freely down her face, forming rivers that eventually dripped from her chin. 

She pulled the decapitated head into her lap, ignoring the banging and yelling at her door. Her guards would break it down soon enough. Her eyes were glued to the blonde haired blue eyed girl she loved. 

“Yu gonplei ste nou odon.” She sobbed, brushing hair and dirt from the face. She still didn’t want to believe it. “Non, beja, non.” She pleaded. 

The tale of abuse was sketched across Costia’s face. Scars and bruises littered her one pure white skin in various stages of healing. 

She ignored the guards that finally burst into her room, ignored their shouts for the flamekeeper when they saw what was upsetting the Commander, she ignored it all. No, her attention was focused solely on the girl’s head in her lap.

Her fingers traced over a bloody, busted lip and her mind drifted to their first kiss. They’d been hidden away from both their mentors. Anya and Nyko had been looking for them that morning and they’d taken off then. They were hiding under a willow tree by the lake, Lexa’s leg bleeding from a rock she’d slipped on. The black blood was just another reminder that they wouldn’t have very long to live out whatever was budding between them. Costia had leaned forward to press her lips against Lexa’s. It was quick and broken when Costia stood up and fled in tears, muttering about how unfair it was. They had been fourteen and fifteen then. 

She traced a finger along a bruise that started under Costia’s left eye. Those eyes, now closed in death, had once been the most beautiful blue Lexa could remember ever seeing. The color of the ocean, dark and stormy. Costia had been another one of Anya’s rescues from a village ransacked by the Mountain Men. But where Anya had taken Lexa in as a daughter and raised and trained her, Costia took to Nyko, TonDC’s healer. Costia began training under him. One day while training, Anya had gotten a good hit in at Lexa’s head and the younger girl had passed out. When she woke in the healer tent the first thing she saw was those beautiful blue eyes. Costia and Lexa would soon become fast friends. They were eleven and twelve then.

“Heda, please.” It was Titus’s voice that pulled her from her memories. 

She turned green eyes on the man, glaring at him through her tears. She didn’t want to hear his words. Love was weakness. This was for the best. Whatever it was. She did not want to hear it. “Get out.” She said, her words quiet but dripping with angry power. 

“Heda…” Titus tried again, but Lexa was not having it. 

“Ready the armies of the Coalition. Azgeda will not get away with this.” Her gaze dropped back to the head of her first love and her eyes softened as they began to well with tears again. 

“I do not think that wise, Heda.”

“Leave me! Get out, Titus!” She shouted, her anger boiling over. The bald man bowed his head and turned, deciding now was not the best time to reason with her.

“I will begin the arrangements for her funeral.” Were his parting words and they somehow just made everything more real to the young Commander. 

Another sob tore through her chest, her heart breaking into a million pieces. She bent at the waist to press her forehead against Costia’s. 

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered, her tears streaming down her face and dripping from her lips. She pressed her lips against the cold cheek, sobbing still. None of this was fair.


End file.
